Netflix「地獄に堕ちるわよ」を見て、子どもに本当に渡したいものが少しはっきりした
タイ行きの飛行機の中で、Netflixの「地獄に堕ちるわよ」を見た。
占い師・細木数子さんをモチーフにしたドラマで、「この物語は事実に基づいた虚構である」と最初に宣言される。あくまでフィクションではあるけれど、実在の細木数子という人物の濃さが、かなりの迫力で迫ってくる。
見終わったあとにまず浮かんだのは、「こういう人こそ、本当に強いな」という感覚だった。
賛否もあるだろうし、真似したい部分ばかりではない。それでも、自分自身にこのくらいの強さがほしいし、もし子どもたちに何か一つだけ残せるとしたら、お金や物じゃなくて、こういう折れない芯なんだろうなと感じた。
細木数子という人の人生は、それだけで一冊になるくらい濃い。
戦前の渋谷で生まれ、戦後の混乱期には母が青線地帯で店を切り盛りして家計を支えたとされる。十代で学校を離れ、喫茶店を経て20歳で銀座のクラブ経営へ。裏社会との関係も深め、その後「六星占術」を打ち出して2000年代には「大殺界」「地獄に堕ちるわよ!」が時代のキーワードになった。霊感商法や暴力団との関係など批判も多く、2021年に83歳で亡くなっている。
ざっくり言えば、戦後の底辺から、銀座・裏社会・芸能界・占いバブルと、ありとあらゆる濃い世界を通過しながら、富と名声と悪評を全部ひっくるめて背負った人だった。
ドラマ自体は細木さんの再現ではなく、彼女を思わせる占い師(戸田恵梨香)と、その過去を取材する売れない作家(伊藤沙莉)を軸にしたフィクションとして描かれる。物語はずっと二重構造になっていて、本人は自分の人生を武勇伝として語る一方、弟子や関係者に話を聞くとその裏側にある搾取や暴力が見えてくる。どこまでが真実で、どこからが自己演出なのかわからなくなる。「この人は救世主なのか、詐欺師なのか」という問いに最後まで答えは出ない。それでも、強烈なカリスマとして時代を動かしたという事実だけは消せない。
ドラマを見ながら何度も胸を掴まれた。どれだけ踏まれても立ち上がって自分の人生を掴みにいく執念。「このまま終わるわけにはいかない」と何度も自分の物語を書き換える粘り強さ。貧困や理不尽を、被害者としてだけではなく燃料としても使ってしまう図太さ。そのあたりには、憧れに近い感情を覚える。
前にこんなブログを書いた。
日本の先生は「社会経験がない」「世間知らず」とよく言われるけれど、本質は「苦渋を舐めた経験があるかどうか」ではないか、という話だ。大学を卒業してそのまま学校というコミュニティに入ると、「人事」と「校内の力学」が世界のすべてになりやすい。インドネシアで一緒に会社をしていた友人のまさちゃんがまさにそれに疑問を感じ、突然教師をやめて海外に飛び出し、挫折や苦労を経て「また先生に戻りたい」と言っている姿を見たとき、苦渋を舐めてきた大人が学校にいるかどうかはやっぱり大きい、と書いた。
細木数子さんの人生は、良くも悪くも苦渋の塊だ。そのエネルギーが人を救い、ときには人を傷つける刃にもなっていた。それでも、あのドラマはある種の極端な教材になっていると思う。
うちには子どもが4人いる。
もし何かを残せる立場にあるとしたら、残すべきものは、きっと家やお金などではない。どんな場所に放り出されてもなんとか立ち上がれるしぶとさ、誰かに嫌われても自分の価値がゼロにならない感覚、理不尽や失敗をただの不幸で終わらせずに糧に変えていく力。そういう心のOSのほうを、子どもたちに手渡したいと思う。
細木数子さんの人生をそのまま辿るような生き方は、あまりにも波乱に満ちている。
でも、何度踏まれても立ち上がり続けるその心は、間違いなく「強さ」の源だ。
自分自身もまだまだ、だいぶ弱い。芯についても、まったくの発展途上だ。だからせめて、転んだときにちゃんと立ち上がる姿を、少しずつでも見せていけるようになりたい。
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Watching Netflix’s “You’re Going to Hell” Made Me Think About What I Actually Want to Leave My Kids.
I watched Netflix’s “You’re Going to Hell” on a flight to Thailand.
The show is based on Kazuko Hosoki, the famous fortune teller, and opens with a disclaimer: “This story is fiction based on fact.” It stays firmly in the realm of drama, yet the sheer density of who Hosoki was as a person comes through with real force.
The first thought I had after finishing it was something like: people like this are genuinely strong.
There’s plenty to argue with, and I wouldn’t want to imitate all of it. Even so, I find myself wishing I had that kind of backbone — and if I could leave my children just one thing, I don’t think it would be money or possessions. It would be that unbending core.
Hosoki’s life alone could fill a book.
She was born in prewar Shibuya. During the postwar chaos, her mother reportedly ran a shop in a red-light district to keep the family afloat. Hosoki left school as a teenager, worked in a coffee shop, and by twenty was managing a hostess club in Ginza. She moved in circles connected to the underworld. Later she developed her “Six Star Astrology” system, and by the 2000s phrases like “the Great Killing Cycle” and “You’re going to hell!” had become part of the cultural vocabulary. She faced serious criticism — allegations of fraudulent spiritual services and ties to organized crime — and died in 2021 at the age of 83.
To put it plainly: she started at the bottom of postwar Japan and passed through Ginza, the underworld, the entertainment industry, and the fortune-telling boom, carrying wealth, fame, and notoriety all at once.
The drama itself isn’t a re-enactment. It’s structured as fiction, centered on a fortune teller who resembles Hosoki (played by Erika Toda) and a struggling writer investigating her past (played by Sarii Ito). The story runs on two tracks throughout: the fortune teller narrates her own life as a series of triumphs, while testimony from disciples and associates reveals exploitation and violence underneath. The line between truth and self-mythology keeps blurring. The question of whether this person is a savior or a con artist never gets answered. What can’t be erased is that she moved her era, as a singular and overwhelming presence.
I found myself gripped, again and again, while watching. The stubbornness of getting back up no matter how many times she was knocked down, and going after her own life. The persistence to rewrite her own story, over and over, refusing to let it end there. The toughness to take poverty and injustice and use them as fuel rather than only as wounds. Those qualities stirred something close to admiration in me.
I wrote something along these lines in an earlier post.
Japanese teachers are often criticized for lacking real-world experience, for being sheltered — but I wondered whether the real issue is simply whether someone has tasted genuine hardship. If you graduate from university and walk straight into a school, your whole world can easily become personnel matters and internal politics. A friend of mine, Masa-chan, who ran a business with me in Indonesia, felt exactly that unease and abruptly quit teaching to go abroad. He went through failure and difficulty, and I remember him saying he wanted to go back to teaching again. Watching that, I wrote that it matters — it really does matter — whether a school has adults in it who have been through something hard.
Hosoki’s life, for better and worse, was made of hardship. That energy saved people, and at times became something sharp enough to hurt them too. Even so, I think the drama functions as a kind of extreme case study.
I have four children.
If I’m in a position to leave them anything, a house or money alone won’t be enough. The resilience to get back on your feet wherever you’re dropped. The sense that being disliked by someone doesn’t make you worthless. The ability to turn setbacks and failures into something useful rather than just absorbing them as misfortune. That kind of operating system for the mind — that’s what I want to pass on.
A life that follows the same path as Hosoki’s would be far too turbulent.
But the spirit that keeps standing up, no matter how many times it’s knocked down — that is, without question, where real strength comes from.
I’m still quite weak myself. My own core is very much a work in progress. So for now, I just want to get a little better at showing my kids what it looks like to get back up when I fall.
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